This year, I choose me. It’s not a new year’s resolution as much as a new outlook. It’s not something I can succeed or fail at and not something to grade. It is not something to fear or avoid.

I asked for these photos to challenge my anxious thoughts and intrusive self-hate. I talked to the photographer and makeup artist about wearing clothes I normally don’t wear, boasting makeup that accentuates my features, and posing to show off my body. Collaborating with positivity and talent instead of the deal I made with my eating disorder to hide my body, hide my curves, hide my fat, hide me.

Growing up an aspiring fantasy author, I studied the many paths my characters could take. An adventure is a trip without a destination. A journey is where the trip itself matters most. A quest is a trip to accomplish a specific task.

I’ll say this to you, but can’t say this to me: you are strong, you are fierce, you are capable.

An important question (actually) in digesting my internalized fatphobia.

There’s something about being wild.

I have run booths about eating disorders, organized #MirrorlessMonday events, and hosted body positivity yoga sessions. Nonetheless, today will have been two days since I last ate.